Christmas?????????

How can it possibly time for Christmas again?  Didn't we just finish?

I am amazed as I get older how much faster Christmas comes each year.  Is it because I have so much more to do & prepare?   I do love Christmas but I also don't like Christmas.  I love the beautiful snow, our warm home, the beautiful glowing lights of our tree, the family gatherings, tobogganing, skating, fondues, friends, visits, peppermint lattes, giving, and just the overall joy.  But more and more I am drifting from the true meaning - Jesus.

As a family we love to attend the Christmas Eve candlelight service, Christmas programs, the Santa Claus Parade, Christmas Banquets, shopping for our items for shoe boxes, reading the Christmas story on Christmas eve, and the list goes on and on.   But I worry that my girls (okay and us) are getting way too caught up on the busy-ness of Christmas and the commercialism.   They truly want this gift, and that gift, but in the end are left empty once the wrapping paper settles.

I have been studying the Advent Conspiracy with my study group at church and I love its premise.  Think through the purchases, slow down, give more to the truly needy and enjoy the true meaning - the birth of Jesus.

One of the exercises is to think back to your childhood and give a favourite Christmas memory.  I bet if you do it, it isn't a particular present, its a moment, family, a tradition, or an experience.  The gifts don't compare to everything else.  Yet we spend so much time and money on that piece.  We are tricked into believing thats how to show our love, that we need this and that, that we will be happier or more Christmas-y.

D'Arcy and I have assessed the finances of what we spend at Christmas as well as the stress I undertake shopping, wrapping, worrying and we have decided to make some changes.  This year we will spend less on the girls but do more family activities.  We will give less to adult friends but make a point of a fun night out with them.  We will do more shopping online to avoid spontaneous, emotional purchases and we will actively look for ways to give in our community and world.  We will do Samaritan's Purse shoe boxes with our girls, explaining where the items are going and joy we are bringing another child in the world.  We will bake cookies for neighbours to let them know we appreciate them.  We will keep our eyes open for ways we can give to others, food donations, time at a soup kitchen, shovelling for neighbours - our opportunities are endless!   We will give our love & time to others as a family.

So I am ready to try something new this year!  I'm not gonna change it all but I may bring the joy I receive from God to others by being a little bit more selfless.   Who knows - it might make the season even better!

www.adventconspiracy.org

Sad

It seems lately that many things make me sad.

Children who have to bear the burden of an adults sin.  Adults who take pleasure in the downfall of another.  Finding out yet again that beneath the surface what I thought was different and good is just the same as everywhere else.

It all just makes me sad and disappointed.  I find I have so much hope and belief in others good yet time and time again I am let down.  I just get exausted of being proven wrong.  Of supporting good and finding bad surface with a smug smile.

Why do we love drama?  Love the downfall of others?  Love the gossip and dirty secrets?  Love to cast blame?

Why don't we love first, think of others before we act, clean our lives up first before judging others and avoid drama at all costs?  So often taking a step back and praying can save a world of pain to others.

Proverbs 15:28 - The heart of the Godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.

So once again I sit back and wait, wait for good to rise from the ashes.  Wait - broken, tired and sad yet again.   My next few days will entail saying this next verse in my mind - over & over again!

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and hope.

Nostalgia

If you know me at all you know that I am generally not a nostalgic person.  I love to purge, don't collect, love to keep things basic, and struggle to understand my nostalgic best friends "treasures".

But since I have hit my 40's I have discovered that there is a bank of memories that I do cherish & I have tried to embrace them.

When I was little my family had an angel that topped our tree each year.  Each Christmas I had with D'Arcy I would tell him about it when we were decorating & explain how Colleen & I fought over hanging her on the tree.   I would describe her glittery wings & halo and how she floated on a cloud.  She was so beautiful!   A few years ago on a whim I did a search for a vintage angel tree topper & there she was!  I cannot tell you how excited I was.  And she was for sale!  Now when she came I think that D'Arcy was a little shocked at how basic she was - but to me she was just as beautiful as when I was little & now each year my girls fight to put her on the tree.

As kids Colleen and I had certain things we loved to play over & over again.  Barbies & store.  Not just any store - Button store.  We would put up our mom's ironing board get out the monopoly money & button jar & set up our shop.  We would group all the gold & shiny buttons together.  We would spend hours playing.  I loved telling the story to my friends as an adult.  My nostalgic bestie Melissa blessed me with an amazing Christmas gift by giving me a jar of buttons & I can't explain how much that meant to me.  She understood my memories & understood I cherished them so much.  Now each day I smile as I get ready & pass my button jar on my dresser.  Who would think a jar of buttons was such a treasure?

As a child I loved going to my Auntie Margaret's house.  She was always spoiling us with love & attention & I loved to hang with my cousins Jeff & Shannon.  My Auntie Margaret is one of those ladies that has a spotless house & it is always so well decorated.  I remember fondly walking into my Aunts house & having the smell of Pine-Sol waft at me.  Pure bliss for this gal.  Now with my own home I love to get out the Pine-Sol and wash my floors.  Each time I get a whiff of that smell I am back at my Auntie Margaret's giggling and playing.  Lately it has been a great reminder too for me to pray for my Auntie Margaret - she hasn't been feeling too hot so while washing my floors & smelling Pine-Sol,  I pray for her and thank God for all the amazing things she is to me.

So I guess what I am trying to say is Nostalgia isn't so bad.  In fact I might even love it.  It is something that takes you back to those great moments in life that live deep down in your soul.  It gives you a warm feeling inside & a big smile on your face.  Now don't get me wrong - I am still all about no clutter & purge, purge, purge.  But if my house is burning down - I am grabbing my family, button jar, angel & Pine-Sol.

Autumn

I love this time of year.  The coolness in the weather.  Being able to open up my windows and let the fresh air in.  Life seems to slow down a bit.  I love wearing sweaters.  Drinking warm coffee & tea.  Snuggling under my blanket.  Even wearing socks & shoes.

But what I love most is I begin to really appreciate the weather & people around me.   Cuz I know what is coming all too soon - Ccccccooooooolllllllllldddddd days.  Last night it seemed every family from our little community was at the park & it was so nice to chat with all the Moms & Dads and savour the beautiful weather & companionship. All too soon we will all be hidden away in our cozy homes isolated from each other again with cold weather & dark evenings.

I am really gonna miss my visits with our neighbours and community friends.  It has been such an awesome summer to get to know so many new friends and I am gonna miss them when we retreat into hibernation.  I also know that my girls are going to miss the spontaneous play dates at the park and visits with their friends, neighbours and furry friends.  

Savouring every last moment! 

Um Hello? Are you still there?

I know what you are thinking.  Wowee it has been way too long!  And it has!

Being a Mommy and Wife and Sister and Daughter and Friend is takes a lot of time!

Instead of re-hashing my missed years we are just gonna start today!

A new phase of my life has begun and I have to admit it is both exciting and scary all at once.  Both my girls are in school full time and I am now forced to look in the mirror and determine what is next.  I am one to plan, plan, plan and I had it all worked out.   God very quickly stopped the plan.  Things fell apart and all that was planned was no more.  A day of sulking and panic ensued but a good talk with my two besties and I have a new perspective.  Why not let God unfold my future?  Why not focus on him and my family and wait.

I am blessed with a husband that can tow the financial line and with a few casual work jobs we are gonna be just fine.  I am able to work a few days doing things I love, volunteer at my girls school, and keep our home sane.  Now does this mean I am not gonna work if the opportunity arises?  Nope - but I am gonna be thankful for what I have here and now.  I am gonna cherish my time and use it well.  Every family has its own rhythm and plan.  I am not to compare, judge, or envy.  I need to focus on us and what is best for us here and now.  For today that is me at home working casually.

I'm thankful for my more "mature" (loving my 40's) understanding of life and the ability to see things in a different perspective.  Having my girls later in life & having such difficulty getting a family I understand how precious it is.  I love my girls so much and I am so thankful for the ability to be there before and after school just a bit longer.

And I naturally can't end without a picture of my beauties.  This is their first day of school pic.   Sadie is going into Grade 1 and Skylar Grade 8.   If you are on your toes you will see there are no shoes on my gals.  Daddy wanted the pic taken before he headed off to work so it was "staged".  And in perfect Winnipeg fashion it was very chilly.  Hence the chattering teeth.