Christmas?????????

How can it possibly time for Christmas again?  Didn't we just finish?

I am amazed as I get older how much faster Christmas comes each year.  Is it because I have so much more to do & prepare?   I do love Christmas but I also don't like Christmas.  I love the beautiful snow, our warm home, the beautiful glowing lights of our tree, the family gatherings, tobogganing, skating, fondues, friends, visits, peppermint lattes, giving, and just the overall joy.  But more and more I am drifting from the true meaning - Jesus.

As a family we love to attend the Christmas Eve candlelight service, Christmas programs, the Santa Claus Parade, Christmas Banquets, shopping for our items for shoe boxes, reading the Christmas story on Christmas eve, and the list goes on and on.   But I worry that my girls (okay and us) are getting way too caught up on the busy-ness of Christmas and the commercialism.   They truly want this gift, and that gift, but in the end are left empty once the wrapping paper settles.

I have been studying the Advent Conspiracy with my study group at church and I love its premise.  Think through the purchases, slow down, give more to the truly needy and enjoy the true meaning - the birth of Jesus.

One of the exercises is to think back to your childhood and give a favourite Christmas memory.  I bet if you do it, it isn't a particular present, its a moment, family, a tradition, or an experience.  The gifts don't compare to everything else.  Yet we spend so much time and money on that piece.  We are tricked into believing thats how to show our love, that we need this and that, that we will be happier or more Christmas-y.

D'Arcy and I have assessed the finances of what we spend at Christmas as well as the stress I undertake shopping, wrapping, worrying and we have decided to make some changes.  This year we will spend less on the girls but do more family activities.  We will give less to adult friends but make a point of a fun night out with them.  We will do more shopping online to avoid spontaneous, emotional purchases and we will actively look for ways to give in our community and world.  We will do Samaritan's Purse shoe boxes with our girls, explaining where the items are going and joy we are bringing another child in the world.  We will bake cookies for neighbours to let them know we appreciate them.  We will keep our eyes open for ways we can give to others, food donations, time at a soup kitchen, shovelling for neighbours - our opportunities are endless!   We will give our love & time to others as a family.

So I am ready to try something new this year!  I'm not gonna change it all but I may bring the joy I receive from God to others by being a little bit more selfless.   Who knows - it might make the season even better!

www.adventconspiracy.org

Sad

It seems lately that many things make me sad.

Children who have to bear the burden of an adults sin.  Adults who take pleasure in the downfall of another.  Finding out yet again that beneath the surface what I thought was different and good is just the same as everywhere else.

It all just makes me sad and disappointed.  I find I have so much hope and belief in others good yet time and time again I am let down.  I just get exausted of being proven wrong.  Of supporting good and finding bad surface with a smug smile.

Why do we love drama?  Love the downfall of others?  Love the gossip and dirty secrets?  Love to cast blame?

Why don't we love first, think of others before we act, clean our lives up first before judging others and avoid drama at all costs?  So often taking a step back and praying can save a world of pain to others.

Proverbs 15:28 - The heart of the Godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.

So once again I sit back and wait, wait for good to rise from the ashes.  Wait - broken, tired and sad yet again.   My next few days will entail saying this next verse in my mind - over & over again!

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and hope.

Nostalgia

If you know me at all you know that I am generally not a nostalgic person.  I love to purge, don't collect, love to keep things basic, and struggle to understand my nostalgic best friends "treasures".

But since I have hit my 40's I have discovered that there is a bank of memories that I do cherish & I have tried to embrace them.

When I was little my family had an angel that topped our tree each year.  Each Christmas I had with D'Arcy I would tell him about it when we were decorating & explain how Colleen & I fought over hanging her on the tree.   I would describe her glittery wings & halo and how she floated on a cloud.  She was so beautiful!   A few years ago on a whim I did a search for a vintage angel tree topper & there she was!  I cannot tell you how excited I was.  And she was for sale!  Now when she came I think that D'Arcy was a little shocked at how basic she was - but to me she was just as beautiful as when I was little & now each year my girls fight to put her on the tree.

As kids Colleen and I had certain things we loved to play over & over again.  Barbies & store.  Not just any store - Button store.  We would put up our mom's ironing board get out the monopoly money & button jar & set up our shop.  We would group all the gold & shiny buttons together.  We would spend hours playing.  I loved telling the story to my friends as an adult.  My nostalgic bestie Melissa blessed me with an amazing Christmas gift by giving me a jar of buttons & I can't explain how much that meant to me.  She understood my memories & understood I cherished them so much.  Now each day I smile as I get ready & pass my button jar on my dresser.  Who would think a jar of buttons was such a treasure?

As a child I loved going to my Auntie Margaret's house.  She was always spoiling us with love & attention & I loved to hang with my cousins Jeff & Shannon.  My Auntie Margaret is one of those ladies that has a spotless house & it is always so well decorated.  I remember fondly walking into my Aunts house & having the smell of Pine-Sol waft at me.  Pure bliss for this gal.  Now with my own home I love to get out the Pine-Sol and wash my floors.  Each time I get a whiff of that smell I am back at my Auntie Margaret's giggling and playing.  Lately it has been a great reminder too for me to pray for my Auntie Margaret - she hasn't been feeling too hot so while washing my floors & smelling Pine-Sol,  I pray for her and thank God for all the amazing things she is to me.

So I guess what I am trying to say is Nostalgia isn't so bad.  In fact I might even love it.  It is something that takes you back to those great moments in life that live deep down in your soul.  It gives you a warm feeling inside & a big smile on your face.  Now don't get me wrong - I am still all about no clutter & purge, purge, purge.  But if my house is burning down - I am grabbing my family, button jar, angel & Pine-Sol.

Autumn

I love this time of year.  The coolness in the weather.  Being able to open up my windows and let the fresh air in.  Life seems to slow down a bit.  I love wearing sweaters.  Drinking warm coffee & tea.  Snuggling under my blanket.  Even wearing socks & shoes.

But what I love most is I begin to really appreciate the weather & people around me.   Cuz I know what is coming all too soon - Ccccccooooooolllllllllldddddd days.  Last night it seemed every family from our little community was at the park & it was so nice to chat with all the Moms & Dads and savour the beautiful weather & companionship. All too soon we will all be hidden away in our cozy homes isolated from each other again with cold weather & dark evenings.

I am really gonna miss my visits with our neighbours and community friends.  It has been such an awesome summer to get to know so many new friends and I am gonna miss them when we retreat into hibernation.  I also know that my girls are going to miss the spontaneous play dates at the park and visits with their friends, neighbours and furry friends.  

Savouring every last moment! 

Um Hello? Are you still there?

I know what you are thinking.  Wowee it has been way too long!  And it has!

Being a Mommy and Wife and Sister and Daughter and Friend is takes a lot of time!

Instead of re-hashing my missed years we are just gonna start today!

A new phase of my life has begun and I have to admit it is both exciting and scary all at once.  Both my girls are in school full time and I am now forced to look in the mirror and determine what is next.  I am one to plan, plan, plan and I had it all worked out.   God very quickly stopped the plan.  Things fell apart and all that was planned was no more.  A day of sulking and panic ensued but a good talk with my two besties and I have a new perspective.  Why not let God unfold my future?  Why not focus on him and my family and wait.

I am blessed with a husband that can tow the financial line and with a few casual work jobs we are gonna be just fine.  I am able to work a few days doing things I love, volunteer at my girls school, and keep our home sane.  Now does this mean I am not gonna work if the opportunity arises?  Nope - but I am gonna be thankful for what I have here and now.  I am gonna cherish my time and use it well.  Every family has its own rhythm and plan.  I am not to compare, judge, or envy.  I need to focus on us and what is best for us here and now.  For today that is me at home working casually.

I'm thankful for my more "mature" (loving my 40's) understanding of life and the ability to see things in a different perspective.  Having my girls later in life & having such difficulty getting a family I understand how precious it is.  I love my girls so much and I am so thankful for the ability to be there before and after school just a bit longer.

And I naturally can't end without a picture of my beauties.  This is their first day of school pic.   Sadie is going into Grade 1 and Skylar Grade 8.   If you are on your toes you will see there are no shoes on my gals.  Daddy wanted the pic taken before he headed off to work so it was "staged".  And in perfect Winnipeg fashion it was very chilly.  Hence the chattering teeth.

Bounce - Bounce - Bounce

Well with the snow settling into Winnipeg I decided it was time to find some healthy indoor activities for the girls.

I washed up some of the outdoor toys (the slide, spinner) and bought a playmat puzzle for the basement. The girls have been having fun in their new area.

I have two friends who both bought for their kids mini trampolines. Everytime my kids go to their homes they bounce away. So I headed to Walmart & looked through the fitness department for a mini trampoline. There it was for a mere $40. My girls have been jumping since. What an awesome buy! They love it. Right now it is in the living room so that they can jump under supervision & while listening to music - we will see how long I can handle that before it moves down stairs.

A great buy for getting rid of some winter energy!

Operation Christmas Child

Each year I take part in the Operation Christmas Child shoebox drive. I get my shoebox & fill it with treats & goodies for a little one somewhere in the world who needs a little love.

This year we took part especially for our girls. It is tough for them to grasp what it is like (well really for any of us!) to live in a third world country & the hardships children their age experience each day. Searching for food, clean water, yearning to attend school.

So last sunday we picked up our Christmas boxes at church & Friday night we headed to Dollarama to fill it with goodies. The girls loved picking items to send & really looked for something "their girl" would like. Sadie even picked out some really cute items for her box. When we got home we put the items into our boxes (and had to create another box since we went a bit overboard!) and the girls coloured & decorated their boxes.

This morning we sealed the boxes and the girls were so excited to bring their boxes to church for the Christmas box service. Sadie had to carry her box into church all by herself & she actually struggled with it but would not give it to us - she had to carry it. Skylar took the 3 boxes to her class & then during the service placed the boxes on the large pile at the front of the church. We then watched a video of the kids around the world receiving the boxes.

The whole experience was certainly two fold. Our children need to remember those around us who are in need. Even if those in need are halfway around the world. I want them to grow up socially aware and empathetic. I am also thankful we were given the opportunity to give our meager gifts to 3 deserving children in the world & pray they are blessed by our very small sacrifice.

Take the time to so something for a small child who needs something to smile about! Do a Christmas box for Operation Christmas Child.

It's Official - She is Stuck with Us

Well yesterday was a very important day for us Lussier's. Skylar's adoption was finalized & signed off by a judge. She is stuck with us forever . . . .

We started the day by getting ready & going to CFS where Skylar got to catch up with her old social worker Andre - who she loves. Andre came all the way in from Winkler for 9am just to attend Skylar's signing. It meant alot to all of us. We then walked over to the court house & into the judge's chambers where he welcomed us & signed the official adoption papers & congratulated us on our "forever family". Sky was really nervous but I am so happy we had the opportunity to be there when the document was signed.

Afterwards we changed into some "fun" clothes & then headed to Kid City for the afternoon. We had a blast. All in all an amazing day that I am so thankful for.

I've posted a picture of us all at the judges chambers.

Happy Halloween

I cannot believe that tomorrow is already Halloween! This year has just flown by. The girls are so excited & I am excited to see them enjoy tomorrow too!

This week we went to Boo at the Zoo and the girls had a blast. They went on rides & dined on mini donuts. Both were adorable in their costumes - Sadie is a mouse this year & Skylar is a black cat.

Tonight we had Grandma & Grandpa Siemens over & Tummy Mummy Janae to carve pumpkins. The girls had a blast. Skylar did an Angry Bird pumpkin & Sadie helped me with a Kitty Cat. Naturally they dined on way too many candies so bed time was very interesting tonite. I can only imagine what tomorrow night will be like!

Overall an amazing few days of family fun. I am blessed!

Snuggles

Last night Sadie had a hard time at bedtime. She was out of sorts & cried quite a bit which is very rare for her at bedtime. Generally she just gets in bed asks for books & says goodnight. But I actually love the nights she needs me. I love to cuddle with her & stroke her hair & have her so close & still. Now that she is so active these moments are few & far between. I often wonder if moms who haven't had a struggle to have children cherish these moments as much as I do. I could sit there all night and hold her.

After leaving Sadies room I crawled into bed with Skylar and had some girl chat with her. Things are so much more interesting when you are whispering them in bed aren't they? I love to snuggle up with her & rub her back while she tells me all about the cute boy in school and every little detail about Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber's visit to Winnipeg. I didn't have those early year snuggles so I want to make sure I get as many as I can now while she lets me. No doubt the older she gets the less we will snuggle but I am gonna fight hard to keep them going as long as I can!

Boo at the Zoo tonight - Pics to come!

Here is a pic of the girls on Sadie's birthday.  Aren't they adorable?

Waaaaaaaaaaaay too long!

Okay - I honestly cannot believe it has been this long since my last post! Shame on me. Well my girls are now one year older. Sadie is now 2 and Skylar is now 9. Time goes way too fast! Both are thriving & keeping me & D'Arcy very busy. I am loving that Sadie can now talk (although she goes on & on & on & on lately). Skylar is now so comfortable in her own skin that I cannot begin to say how happy that makes me. She is just being a little girl & letting us worry about "life" and that is so awesome!

I am gonna post two photo's of the girls. One of Sadie's new "thing" she loves to take anything with a smooth texture & rub it all over her face. Paint, pudding, whip topping, gravy - you name it. On this one posted D'Arcy & Sky & I were goofing around in the kitchen while Sadie finished off her pudding & Skylar turned to face Sadie & her eyes popped out of her head. We laughed so hard - I couldn't even tell Sadie was under all that chocolate pudding.


Well I will post again soon. Want to get back into writing. Don't abandon me - I will keep writing.

(((((((Hugs))))))))

Ahhhhhhh - Sunshine!

I cannot tell you how much I love this time of year. Hanging in the yard with the girls. Nothing better. Sadie has now learned a new word "Slide". I picked up a Little Tikes slide for her at a garage sale for $1 and let me tell ya - the best dollar I ever spent! She loves it. It is amazing how a 2 year old can do something over & over & over & over & never tire.

Skylar is loving bike riding & soccer & basically living outside with the kids in the neighbourhood. I love seeing her run around smiling from ear to ear. She just cannot get enough of her friends.

Her first soccer game is tomorrow night and I am not sure who is more excited - D'Arcy or Skylar. Sky looks pretty sharp in her soccer uniform & she is serious as can be. D'Arcy is the proud papa on the sideline & I couldn't be happier seeing how proud he is of his girl.

Life is grand. I love the weather, love my girls - what else can a girl ask for?

Easter Fun - Part 2

Ahhhhh - Easter. Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate!

We had my side of the family over yesterday for Easter & it was so nice to get together. The kids were outside the majority of the time & had a blast running off their extra sugar consumption. The Rice Crispy Easter squares were a hit!

Today was a bit more laid back. We decorated eggs, got messy! And then enjoyed Smeeps (Smores made with Peeps). We decided that we will definitely keep the Smeep tradition going. It was sooooooo yummy!

Tomorrow we will have our Easter Hunt & then off to Baba & PePere's for most likely another Easter Hunt & dinner. A busy weekend but we are having some awesome time with our girls.

Easter Fun

I thought I would share these two ideas I found on a few of my favourite blogs. I made the S'Meep packs for family & naturally us to enjoy this weekend. And I am going to make the rice crispy squares for our Easter gathering.

http://thecreativecouncill.blogspot.com/2011/04/smeeps.html

http://blogs.babble.com/family-kitchen/2011/04/05/crispy-bunny-treats/

Shopping as a "Mom"

Sky & I did a little shopping tonight and I came to a very scary realization. We were browsing through the young girls clothes & I kept thinking to myself - these are some ugly bright busy clothes. The 80's are returning & it is not good. Skylar was showing me the clothes she wanted to try on & I was thinking - really? You like that? Then it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I am not cool. I cannot comment on fashion for my young daughter. If the whole department has the same sort of clothes - that is the fashion - whether I think it is or not. I AM NOT COOL. Ugh - what a realization - total burst to my ego. I then just about went to the thought that I was turning into my mother but quickly shut that down. No need to go there now.

So I have resolved that as long as the clothing fits appropriately, is not revealing, has a positive message (no skulls or vampires), and is something daddy won't veto then I am going to let my girl be a young girl & enjoy it. I am pretty sure that my mom did not like me wearing pajama pants, neon shirts, scrunchies that matched my shirt (okay maybe she did like that), wearing my sweatshirts inside out, acid wash jeans, "Choose Life" shirts, but she let me and I thought I was pretty "cool".

So I guess the next "issue" will be heels & makeup? Give me strength!

What is new????????

Well I can honestly say that life is moving way too fast. I look at Sadie & tear up at the thought of her turning 2. I see such a beautiful young woman in Skylar & I want to rewind her so I can savour her for a few more years.

I feel like my whole life right now is my girls & I am trying to put that into balance but that is really hard. I waited so long for my family that it is hard for me to take a step back & ensure that I get time - I don't want to miss anything.

I marvel at other Mom's who dress their kids well, take them to sports, feed them right, clean their homes, work out, look great & have date nights. I honestly cannot figure out how to do it all. I fall into bed at night & can't remember what I did half an hour ago. I have a stack of books I am dying to read on my nightstand that are gathering dust. I can't keep my eyes open long enough to get through the first page.

And I am continually thinking of things I am missing - taking pictures, writing in Sadies baby book, organizing Sky's school work, returning calls, seeing friends, taking video's of the girls during "Lussier after dinner dance hour", washing those hand prints off of the window, mirror, tub, wall, fridge, cabinet, door - - - and the carpet! I am embarassed to even have someone look at it. But how on earth can you clean a carpet every day! My girls are a disaster with spills!

Well just writing this makes me want to take a nap. And it is story time in the Lussiers house. I love my life - I just need to find some balanace!

Prayers

It seems that when good things happen in Skylar's life (like another great report card!) she misses her Mommy Janae more than normal. I think there is a part of her that feels guilty to be so happy without Mom Janae. I hate to see her struggle with this but I also know Sky can handle it. She has been through so much & has weathered so well - much to the credit of great family support.

On the ride home from her Parent/Teacher meeting she expressed she missed Mommy Janae. I told her I missed her too & that hopefully she would be at my birthday party this weekend at the Siemens. She then asked quite a few more questions. Anyone who says that kids don't know things is very wrong. Skylar can pick up on pretty much anything & has no problem asking questions. Which I think is what she had to do to take care of herself & survive. It is hard for her to let go & let me & D'Arcy take care of the things little girls shouldn't have to deal with.

At bed time she got up to say that she really couldn't sleep because she was thinking of Mommy Janae so I suggested we sit & pray for her. Maybe that would make her feel better. So we cuddled up in bed & prayed for Janae. For the beautiful woman she is. For her giggles and her love. For her free spirit and for loving her girls so much that she trusted me & D'Arcy to watch over her little angels. I know that it seems strange to be praying for my daughters Mommy but it gives me great comfort to know that Skylar feels comfortable telling me her innermost feelings & I truly do love Janae so much. I want to be part of the calming for Skylar & to ensure she knows how much Janae loves and adores her. I want her to fall asleep knowing that she is loved so much by Mommy Janae, Mommy Michelle & Daddy D'Arcy. That is what is best for our little angel and I know that we all agree she is what is most important.

Wowee!

Well - it has been way too long.

My last post was the day I was gonna hit the treadmill only to go downstairs to see my husband had dismantled it. And he only re-assembled it tonight after weeks of harassment. So tomorrow is the day - and believe it or not I am actually looking forward to it.

Life has been busy but good. Sort of thankful that tomorrow is back to the normal grind. It has been a very busy weekend. We had a Wall New Years party last night (after several cancellations due to sick kids) - it was a blast & made me realize how amazing my friends are and how blessed I am. The girls had a blast snacking & playing with their "friend-cousins".

D & I had a date night on Saturday night. A yummy dinner at Kelseys sans enfants (without kids) and then to the Roller Derby. It was alot of fun! It was so awesome to spend time with my honey & just relax. Thank you to Grandma & Grandpa Siemens for coming in & watching the girls & saving us a small fortune in babysitting $$$$.

Been thinking alot about life & where I am at. Turning the big 40 in a few weeks & it has made me very sappy & thought provoked. Alot has happened in 2 years more than I could ever have imagined - two beautiful girls. I have been very focused on them & I am thinking I now need to take care of me a bit more to ensure I am around to see their futures. And yes - that means hopping on that treadmill tomorrow!

Wish me luck . . . . .

Treadmill

Today is the day. I will get on the treadmill. I will. Today. As soon as Sadie is down for her nap I will head down to the treadmill. I will. Go down to the treadmill.

Update to come. . . . .